Quick note before I get writing today’s blog: I passed a milestone with yesterday’s blog. I have now officially passed the century mark on this here blog. This posting is number 101 on my way to 200. One day at a time.
It has been about four days since I last blogged about Her, and I have consciously decided the past few days to avoid Her as a topic. It is not that she hasn’t been on my mind. It is just the more that I think about her, the more frustrating it gets and the more analytical it gets. So I try to limit myself to a few times a day that I think about her. This may or may not be healthy depending on your opinion of things.
Anyway, the thing that prompted this blog, and I think I may have mentioned this before, is the fact that I am encouraged by the direction that things are going with Her. Granted, we have only been on one “date,” but we have been chatting a lot over text message, so it is good. She let me look at a paper she had to write for WOCS, which I thought was weird. We are trying to make plans for our next adventure, with a trip to the beach tentatively scheduled for this weekend, but no firm commitments.
But this is my dilemma: in a little less then 6 months, I will most likely be deploying with the Army through the end of next year, if not longer. I know I may be getting ahead of myself, but I worry that I am going to lay all of this foundation towards a relationship with Her and have it abruptly end when it comes time to leave. I don’t think six months is long enough to really get to the point where I would think that she would await my return. Nor would I expect her to, unless we “fall in love” or something like that.
I may be jinxing myself going forward, so I really try not to think about it in these terms. But what if she is the (second) one? And because of this pending deployment, I take everything slow and just see what happens? I’ve had a couple of people tell me that I should just tell her how I feel about her, that I think she is good people and I want to spend more time with her to see what happens. I think that whatever this is, we are WAY too early in it to be doing crap like that.
Just thinking “out-blog” today. I could have wrote about a shitty day at work, but that makes me mad.